Life as I know it !

Saturday 19 July 2014

Ozil and me are of the same age! Somehow that made my day!

In case you don't know, Ozil is a German football player, and yes, he was a part of the world cup winning team.

I am at the cusp of completing my studies. I have submitted my thesis, and have a month more for my viva. And, I find myself sometimes just sitting and reflecting my life till now. Everyone else is soo proud of me, I am not! And when I say this, I do not mean to be ungrateful to anybody. I am aware (too aware) of how extremely blessed I am. But, as a person I don't feel like I have 'accomplished' something worthwhile. Well, wanting to be better is not a bad thing, is it?

And recent events have been heading in a direction where I feel my life, as I know it, might end soon. I have been overcome by a wild rush to 'live'. Like, sign up for go ape, go for a rock concert, GET A TATTOO. The last one somehow looms up amidst the rest (and not because it is in caps). I read in the Metro that Christiano Ronaldo don't have many tattoos coz he is a regular blood donor...and somehow, I want that option open in my life. Well, I am not saying that getting a tattoo will affect it, just saying. Its a dilemma defined position.

I listen to my brother talk about his work. Its tough, long hours, lots of travel...but, I can feel how much enjoys what he does. Like he was meant for it. The way he leads those working below him. And how they are an integral part of his life. Its amazing. I had a same instinct when I read 'The girl who kicked the hornet's nest' series...yeah, sure its fiction. But the work pattern is mental. I want a work where I can contribute significantly, something I would be good at...and where it is not a certain something that I have to do to make money and pay bills. This being said, I have been a student till now. I hope and pray that the future has bright silver linings.

Today, Shraedo put a pic up in fb, and she titled it 'Calm AFTER the storm'. That girl has crazy amazing instincts with respect to perspectives. I thought the pic to be amazing. I'll put it up here. The picture is not exceptionally beautiful actually, but it has an element of mystery. If you knew how to write poetry, you could probably write shit-loads......that's what my thought was! Sorry, shit-loads isn't poetic...but it expresses what I want to say to perfection (yeah, curse words are weird like that). And seeing the picture, all these intense premonitions that I have about life just surfaced. Life ahead is going to be hell, in so many ways.....the main reason why I always wonder why we have to grow up......but, I can feel the challenges, the happiness (even though I don't know how it would be), the laughter, new places, new experiences, .....I see all this with an ardent underlying prayer for God's strong support.

Plan is to come back here after my viva and list out how I feel. .......let's see!

Sorrow

In facebook, DU started a new album. It 's theme is old memories or basically, memories from college life. It contains only a few pictures, the ones I guess is most important to him (maybe he'll add more later). Anyway, there is one photo among them, that's entitled Goa trip with my seniors' and consists of all the guys sitting in a straight file on a wall. Maybe, its because it is 'today', I dunno, but that photo heightened my awareness and had me searching for Sibil . And , when I found him sitting second from right, I heard myself saying 'oh sweet Zibil'.

Deaths are too devastating. The loss you feel just claws within you, kind of tearing your heart apart. I don't understand why Chinchu did what she did! Why did she have to die? Why did she want to kill herself! I..

I can't say she is my friend, but we used to be quite friendly.And I always thought best of her. I remember, when we all went for the retreat, and initially, due to circumstances, we just found to be in each other's company. And she was wonderful. She had a great sense of humour, no obligations about saying the truth to a person's face(u'd still like her), and I saw her being a star at that place....after which, I kind of lost her, you know, she being the star and all. But, whenever i had to access her, its always always based on that. She was a great girl.

I dunno if its the news of her death, that's hampered me today. Everything just went right down after hearing it. I am fine, just fine, but deadly sad. Its like being numb. I broke the polishing pad, and then I found, the clamping forks we ordered don't fit..I feel so screwed, on top of all tis sadness!!! And as per Jon , the compressor isn't getting alright..its overall a baad baad day. Its so obvious if you just look outside, its such a windy day.....wind of such force that it can misalign your path.

Dear God, I know not why she did what she did. But , her loss is something tremendous. I pray oh God, I pray for her parents, and her brother n family. I pray don't anything bad come to her. I pray for Zibil....

Oh dear dear Lord

help us all.

Amen.

Its time for Africa and its time for me!!!

This is a late entry , I know! But I had this written especially for here!!!

Thursday , 17^th June 2010 , 11 pm , Porch Room

I remember I told my friend that I’ll write about “Why I like football so much?” as one of my blog entries. Well, this one is begun in such a hope.

It is nice to have something you adore to look forward to. Its like having an aim in life. If someone asks me, what my ambition is , I would balk within me , seriously! That is one question I hate. Even if I have satisfactory answers to give to them, I myself don’t find them satisfactory, at all! Never ,to date have I been able to make up my mind even slightest , about my life. Guess God knew I’m gonna be so, coz he has been opening avenues , new and I believe the right ones, at exactly and precisely the right times. It’s all miracle in a sense! J

Well, I’ve digressed , like usual. Back to the topic- having something to look forward to! Yeah. I have been cooped up at home for the past two months, not doing much anything (partly as requirement, and the remaining, due to utter laziness). My immediate life was bleak, with no spirit to do anything. No interest in any, either. Then, well, as I told my mom, “the world cup has given me a sense of liberation!”, there began a change in my dull routine. Amma I think if she had my way of responding, would have hooted at me. But well, she is pretty sweet.! So, bottom-line is, my life picked up pace on June 11^th 2010.

That sounds so bizarre! Well, it is true to some extent! J

Pappa described to me, how Panniyan described Brazil’s game! “As a symphony”! That it is like music, with such flow, and smoothness! I watched the first game of Brazil, vs North Korea, and sadly I couldn't find anything that resembled a beautiful piece of music! It was more like a decent piece of music, at its rehearsal …there were quite a no of jumbled notes and discord! And their game was against a declared weakling N.Korea!Well, perhaps, it was like a rehearsal for Brazil.. Today, I saw Argentina’s game. I was never much an Argentine fan, I remember I used to like Batistuta for his hair style once, but that was it!! But today, I saw their game!!! It was awesome! Yeah, its true , their defence is weak. Its kinda expected, when Maradona posted in 6 strikers! But well, the strikers were marvelous! Its their game that I’d call a symphony. Actually , I don’t have much music base to explain more. So in layman language, I thought their game had a steady yet exciting flow, flow as in ,literally , a river. You can witness the steady flow of the football from toe- to –toe of the Argentines, with spells of gushing intensity from Tevez (mostly) and Messi! Hey I’ve read about Tevez before, about some scar or teeth problem that they said ruined his looks! But

who the hell cares about looks, when he plays football with so much passion. He gets ur heart beating with excitement and a wish for an Argentine goal….whenever he starts off with the ball, as if there was a nitrogen cylinder stuck at his behind! He’s so damn swift, and so damn cool with the ball……Yeah! And Messi!!! He’s cute, yeah definitely! With his silky hair falling to his eyes, and the sweet face, he reminds me of a puppy that everyone loves to cuddle. I mean, in a really nice way. I adore him , one thing for his looks (hehe). Secondly, for his ‘blend –in” with his team I happily noticed in contrast to C.Ronaldo’s position in Portugal. Oh, yeah, I had so much expectation about C.Ronaldo, …but he didn’t just appear to be there during their match against Ivory coast, Drogba or no Drogba! But, with Messi , it was different. Don’t ask me to explain. He was alive during the match, and he melted in with the team, and the team Argentina played as a single unit, expect for defending part, maybe!

Well, I guess I better stop rambling so much about these football guys!!! Shhh!!....But do check out Mexico no.11 C. Vela. I found him to be pretty cute!!! :P

12 fishes and a cuckoo clock!

The little things are the most difficult! I found it utmost difficult to name my blog. I like the name I've finally given! And there is a story behind it.

You see, when I got the fancy of wanting to make a blog, I asked the first person next to me for help with the blog title- my brother. I usually don't ask for help, or opinion from him, for that matter. But this time, I just did, asked him , I mean. And he started looking around the room, and came up with these names like " The bulb and the tube light (with an after thought he said , "Just tube light will do for you , sigh , poor me), the window and the curtain, the wall and the carpet", it was weird,and he was humoring me pretty good. I did'nt like any of the names he suggested, they were stupid, ....but anyhow I came up with this decision that I'll name my blog after one of his suggestions. So, we continued the naming process. When we went out later, he came up with phrases like " The road and the tar". Sheeesh! By the end of the day, I enquired to him again, he was in the living room then, he looked around and came up with " 12 Fishes and a Cuckoo Clock".

The fact is, I liked the name, then and there. And there is a story to the title. The phrase is a synonym to unity- a unifying of east and west. yeah, that sounds weird I know. I'll explain. In our living room, there is a frame of 12 fishes, which my brother brought from HongKong. There is also this awesome Cuckoo clock that he brought from Black forest, Germany. So, the 'and' in the title does the unifying thingy of east and west!!

So, anyway, cheers! to the 12 Fishes and a Cuckoo Clock. Hope I can end up entering here quite a bit. I love preserving memories!! :)